The Idiosyncratic Muffled Voices

That girl has the highest degree of delusion that she is so hot that im hulk green in jealousy. Sorry hot mama, hulkrage yes, not hulk green. here i am at 5.16 a.m. looking at your facebook photos (kinda vomited a little in my mouth) and furiously slapping the back of my head so that my eyeballs are back in its God- selected position (sorry can’t help it that ze eyeballs are rolling so hard it might get stuck looking at my medulla oblongata for the rest of my living, sightless days). oh i forgot, i’m about to tie my hands with my mouth (gee, desperate much?) soon enough before i start clawing my eyes out cos I honestly fear for my mental health the longer i stare at that incorrigible camwhore. wah why am i so angsty, must be the antihistamine overdose

That was how i started a totally spontaneous blog entry and stopped after one whole paragraph of lapsap because i realised im not that much of a ranty bitch afterall ehehehe shy only.

so yes i am back from kuching yay i miss the air of fear (of stupid nonsensical demonstrations and protests) in the streets of kl and unfriendly city- zens. kuching was a- okay, not much fun but the company was super awesome. never thought you could spend close to a fresh- grad’s salary within say, less than a week huh? trust me you can, just getting ripped off by cabs and paying exorbitant prices for erlack-y food in a music festival. i was uglier and weighed (teeny weeny slightly) lighter last year but had so much more fun in the 2007 fest. le sigh… the perils of looking at the bright sunny side of every egg and everything, you are just waiting for a big dollop of disappointment to drown you away in sorrow. a little bit like a sad moisturiser, rub some on your face then you cry hard hard. or soft soft also can la since it’s moisturiser wtf. haih what’s with all these melodramatingitis.

Will blog or continue with the video blog with bits about Rainforest fest. Depending on how active my lazy hormones are. Haha that sentence is an explosion of irony wtf. oh yes i know im slow like that but i finally know how to membikin video using that windows video maker thingymajiggy praise the Lord for the brain has found the missing screw! skru karat la kot.

can’t blog much for now cos im sick like gene simmons/ marilyn manson/ michael jackson/ richard simmons wtf. no lah not that kinda sick, sick as in fever flu cough pneumonia septicemia gonorrhea chlamydia niama kinda sick. no STDs are just examples, HAH you wished i had em’ or something equally sad and gross climbing up my pubes. now im back in this sad bleak city beating deadlines, studying and arguing with annoying people who rushes me to finish the job that they fucked up. travels will take a momentary break until i figure out where to go next but right now imma roll under my bed, play with spiders and eat dust while thinking of ways to end my sorry life cos im not interning at a law firm during summer break or doing something for a greater cause. Contributing to my waistline is never as great as contributing to humanity you know.

instead of glorifying my resume with job experiences and pages of praises from supposed bosses, i’m getting stamp after stamp of validation (that i’m neither a terrorist, hooker or an idiot with drugs stuffed up my ass) at the immigration clearance on my passport. what is the meaning of life i ask youuuuuuuu i am such an underachiever somewhere out there in this world someone my age is creating a miracle or bombs wtf, (i do consider shagging a celebrity a success okay) and all i’m doing is sitting on my sorry ass lamenting about why and how the grass is greener on the other side and my grass is yellow mellow T_____T every single day. and i do watch parliamentary debates religiously on RTM1 everyday is this a proof solid enough to show how sad my life is. haih, epic fail T_____________________T

okay this is getting too long for a post which says im too sick to blog now. this whole writing too long for the benefit of mankind thing is a disease i tell you, i swear my editors would wish to kill me with a pen (cos it’s mightier than the sword yo!) if the blue genie from Aladdin grants them only ONE wish.

okok last one must get this off my chest before it blows up like Afghanistan (sorry I’m rereading The Kite Runner so pardon all taliban associated words and comparisons). The whole government is turning the political arena into a circus. stop probing into cases where someone preferred his tool up the anus rather than a piehole and do something about the escalating living costs do you know it is killing me cos today my dad asked me to stop washing dishes with the tap running. he suggested that we should fill the two basins with water, one with soap and the other with clean water to conserve water in the name of saving mother nature. Honestly I think it is because the management charges extra for water per cubic meter in a highrise residence mahai they think money drop from the sky please you shit/ drop some for me lah. Also, i don’t think the rakyats are really interested if you wear batik or coats for meetings cos i don’t really give two honks if you decide to turn up in your wife’s batik pyjamas. If you take a sodomy case so seriously cos an ex- minister (who happens to be nothing but a commoner save for the de facto leader “post”) was alleged to be involve in a sexual scandal, suspend the other current minister who was allegedly involved in a controversial murder case.

On a socially irresponsible and selfish note, i do agree that murder has a higher weightage as compared to rape so if one were to be sanctioned for being a suspect in a rape case, what pure breed idiots could have let a murder suspect (with sufficient evidences which the officials have rendered invalid) escaped scotfree? this is just insane, they are not only making themselves looking like clowns, i personally feel that we have been made puppets who were led to believe yarns and yarns of lies that they have spun to fool the ignorants. My father had to constantly call home to remind us not to head downtown in fear of street protests and demonstrations cos all these jokers and heroes are spreading rumours around, sending troops of armies, FRUs, police and fire engines what the fuck to stop inexistent riots. I had to cancel my dinner at KLCC just hours ago cos the alleged sodomy star was arrested in the morning and people are angry they were gonna beat the shit out of everyone so sad okayy i was craving for strawberry parfait and a cosmo

Wasting public funds, wasting our time, creating unnecessary fear alarming citizens, creating mental distress and major inconvenience due to road blocks and police checks WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE. Let me tell you this, i will try to be nostradamus for a bit and predict our future. In the next election, the government is going down. Bad. I am not a lalang, i’m not on the fence or anything but at the rate both sides are acting, both selfishly trying to acquire their political goals and desires but portraying a “We are all for the rakyats” facade but we know goddamn right it’s all bollocks, I’d say fuck this bullshit this country is dying unless and until I become prime minister and throw all these buggers into jail for poor performance and genuine, pure breed imbecility.

Also, if only both sides stop rivaling and outdo/ out ego one another, Insyallah we don’t have to go back to planting paddy or gali bijih timah to survive cos our country is running out of moolah. but you know what, i doubt there is any tin left for us to mine so okay la, we are on the same banana boat, die mai die lor! wtf.

There, no names mentioned so put me into jail for libel and defamation if you can. Balik balik cerita/ alasan/ lawsuit sama tak kreatif langsung cis bedebah! You can say I’m insinuating a certain public figure through my very obvious and clear depiction/ illustration of characteristics and descriptions hardy har har but i’d say take a Prozac, go to sleep. You’re thinking way too much and your imagination is just whoa. Wankers.

HAHAHAHAH damn gaya right my ending word. Thank you Ted Adnan hahaha :))) that man is awesome okay don’t play- play he will shoot you please. with his camera wtf why am i so lame. Eh you know what, my sister said im a bimbo cos i like pink and butterflies. So shallow of her kan! Hmph- ness.

I wanted to upload a video blog but Youtube was really mean to me Therefore no updates just as yet, lemme try again tomorrow morning before heading to the airport. Won’t be updating so soon, probably next week cos I’m heading to Kuching for the Rainforest Music Festival! Whee so excited but this year’s line up doesn’t sound as enticing as last year’s oh well fingers crossed!

Mei Er, Ade have a safe flight to wherever you are heading to :)))

xoxo <333

woih guna xoxo bimbo antarabangsa!!!

i am very very veryyyyy awake now so this post is gonna be long. so long that it’s gonna be NSFW cos boss besar will sack you for reading such a long blog post and not working.

***

After all the digressing during studies thinking about what I want to (dengan semangat berkobar- kobar) do after the grueling exam, it’s safe to say that I was just a lazy fart with her angan- angan mat jenin cos my bones are so lazy I’m contemplating on buying a wheelchair so that I can move around without moving. Everything that I’ve plan is so not materialising cos I’m a slab of mud like that. Also, I feel bored, redundant and totally eager to start studying again wtf.

Sigh why am I such a nerd inside.

It’s 4. 52 a.m. now and by right I should be balancing toothpicks on my eyes to keep them open (one technique I’ve mastered during examination bootcamp weeks, just a little 2 weeks ago) but you want to know something so ironic that Alanis Morrisette wouldn’t dare sing about it?

I am so awake and full of energy that I could bite of Mike Tyson’s right ear AND left ear and run across a football field at 350km/h to heatbutt Zinedine Zidane and Elton John now that is random. Do you know Elton John graduated from University of London? *does a gay jig* my senior yo.

Aaaaanyway, this is the kind of vitality and perk I needed during my exams so that I could go on without sleeping for 52 days but noooo this piece of a body system could do shit nothing when I really needed to stay up and perform. Perform in studies not magic tricks. Sorry to get your hopes high, it’s not sexual techniques either.

Okay thing is if I don’t get something to do soon, imma start having planktons and mushrooms growing on my scalp or anywhere with hair for some gross reason. Working is not an option as much as I want to cos I will be travelling on odd days in the month, both June and July. Ze mama asked if I wanted to go to Bangkok in August and it was surprising cos knowing that my sole purpose of being there is not to marvel at the people and their temples (well I would la I’m quite cultured wan okay) but shop till my feet start oozing blood and shirley temple. It’s gonna be awesome cos it’s not me who’s gonna be making trips to the tailor sewing holes in pockets.

Arghghgghh after typing so much jack shit my eyes are still as wide as a fish’s. Gold fish please got class a bit. Oh fudge I slept at about 7 till 9.30 just now I’m gonna be so awake damn. Naps are bad for me I can never take naps. I’m so weird I should attend the church of scientology. pardon the lack of capslocking my fingers are lazy to stretch and click on shift. Such a chore.

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Oh sweet baby of a Jesus I am so panicky now it’s not funny. Exam is in less than what, 36 hours I presume I don’t even dare start the countdown oh holy Jewish God.

It’s a no brainer why Lord Denning was so afraid of floodgates in litigation (his dicta was damn amusing in Southwark LB V Williams for some weird unknown reason) cos I can’t even control my own floodgate, let alone the whole system of law.

I’ve been breaking down so often it’s hard not to cry. It’s like an alcoholic finding it so damn difficult to be sober for one milinanosecond.

Baby thank you for giving me a shoulder to cry on and to bite wtf. I don’t know how or why but biting feels so much better than my obsession with scratching people when I’m panicky. Oh thank you Eu Jin hahah.

I super hate orang yang kedekut ilmu okay. Bagi makan kasut kang. Have got to thank some people for being so selfless and such a big help. Chan, Ai Chen, Wei Loke, Vanessa, Evelyn, Cam and baby wtf although he contributed nothing besides some love and affection, oh and his shoulder wtf. And saying “YEWWWW CAN DO IT!” all the time hahahaha :)))))) like a broken record.

Oh and Asyraf too for becoming driver most punctual person in the whole wide world *kiss ass a bit or else he wouldn’t pick me up wtf T____T*

I’m so dead okay my CLR is so not done. Imma go into the exam hall and answer my paper with ink made of tears wtf. Not even done studying let alone write essays T______________________T And my criminal is so setengah tong. Public law tuh tak yah la cakap, koyak T______________________________T

Sigh contract, haven’t touched that for ages I wonder if I still remember the bars to rescission sei mou.

Koyak la koyak. I can’t wait to walk out of hell. Derita please. Wah the word derita damn purba.

I really really can’t wait to fly off in June and July AND probably August i wanna fly i wanna cry Sammi Cheng WTF. Really wan damn koyak la my paper this time sighhhhhh.

Okay imma go stack my criminal law books on my pillow now since i’m so damn lazy im just gonna wait for the ilmu to serap into my head naturally. Go with the flow kan. Flow la sangat sighhhhhh. Aiyo why am I still blogging omg mei sei ko.

All you heroes out there, gimme all your supahpowerssss and all you damn lucky assholes out there gimme all your luck or I’ll beat you into a pulp!! Yeah la blackmail la now apa aku kisah.

Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more wtf.

As if loving two guys wasn’t bad enough, I had seemingly allowed doubts to convince me that one is more than enough.

There you go, cat outta the bag.

One so loving yet annoyingly obedient and the other’s so annoying yet obediently loving him in all biasness, I am.

Whoever thought love mirrors an infliction of mental distress and so much hurt, yet provides such gratification albeit afflictive and achy?

I love but I chose to love painfully. We’re loving in pain but still painfully loving.

and it’s not just the two of us.

***

Just the two of us, we can make it if we try

but it’s not just the two of us.

Just the two of us, building castles in the sky

but it’s not just the two of us.

Just the two of us you and i,

It used to be you and me,
now it’s “us”, now it’s “we”.

***

The head says be selfish and let go but the heart’s selfishly afraid of the what- ifs.

***

I hate Solitaire. Me Queen. You King.

I lose. Boo.

***

Fuck this shit.

I want to be twenty, flirty and thriving.

Where being selfish doesn’t feel like selfish and living feels like living again. Alone yes?

At least I was happy.

***

If only women has a magic mirror that tells us that we’re the fairest of them all every second of our living days, who needs men? Yup, fuck men. But fuck fairytales cos 1+1 is always 2 and that, ladies and gentleman, magic mirrors have since ceased production.